True Family

What exactly is True Family?

A True Family is not just your blood relatives.

Your blood family are just part of your Karma.

Your True Family are those who share the same the values as you do and show you True Love, not Fish Love.

Most families only have Fish Love, not True Love.

What exactly is Fish Love?

The fish wants to swim and breathe and live in the waters.

It wants to be free to swim with other fish and chase its dreams.

You also love fish.

But you like to take it out of the water, kill it and fry and eat it.

If you truly loved the fish, you would get into the waters and swim with it.

You would let it live. You would follow it as it chased its dreams.

If you truly loved the fish, you would not take it out of the water, kill it and fry and eat it.

Check out the  video below by Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski.

It will change your life.

Ask your family also to watch this video.

Perhaps it will change their life also.

I know people who have gone through the worst of troubles because of Fish Love by their family.

They have ended up in mental hospitals because of their family.

They were tortured in mental hospitals, they were strapped down and injected against their will and forced to take useless fraud harmful medication that destroyed their soul and way of thinking for decades.

They will end up with diseases that will make their old age a living hell with Parkinsons, Glaucoma and other debilitating diseases that will make them completely blind, immobile, demented, helpless, vulnerable and dependent in their most weakest and painful years.

But the family was happy because the person was not disturbing their peace of mind and was listening to what they say, never mind if they became heavily medicated mindless sleepy zombies.

The family was happy because the person was not embarrassing the family even though whatever the person was saying was the truth.

I know people who moved from hundreds of km from different cities and have given up jobs where they would have been CEOs of multi-billion dollar businesses and worth millions of pounds.

Just to come back and stay with their parents in the same town and take care of them in their old age.

I even know people who have moved from thousands of km in America and developed countries and given up jobs in these prosperous countries where they could have been CEOs of multi-billion dollar businesses and worth millions of pounds and earning hundreds of thousands of dollars of salary.

Just to join a family business because they thought it was owned by the family and that they had an obligation to ensure it survived.

A business that is not even a patch on the previous business that they could have been CEO of and had millions of dollars worth of stock options in.

They do not even ask for any equity stake.

They accept whatever salary is being paid to them even though they would have been earning much more in their old job.

They accept other employees being paid more even though these employees bring less value.

They devote the best years of their life to a family business.

They put up with repeated humiliation, belittlement and unprofessional treatment of the family who runs their family business.

All because they think they are doing it for their family.

All because they think they are doing it for  a business that belongs to the family which they have an obligation to ensure that it survives.

And finally when they are middle aged and their best years are over, the father tells them to find their own way.

In fact he does not even have the decency to tell them in person, he callously sends an email.

He has decided to give the business and legacy to somebody else to run.

He has decided to give a majority of his legacy to people who he does not even know and have done nothing for him, over a family, employees and associates who have sacrificed their entire lives for him.

A legacy that belongs rightfully not just to their children, but to all those who sacrificed the best years of their life for them and helped them build their fortune.

He does this in secret, planning for this to be disclosed only after his death, and does not even consult or even tell those who have built his legacy on how it will transition after his death.

The same father who first came begging to their children to sacrifice everything for the family, completely disregards the sacrifice put in by their children because they loved him more than they loved themselves.

They do not even disclose their wills to their children forget consult them.

They write wills that will make their children beggars and force children to do things that they hate to do even after they are dead.

Otherwise they threaten to disinherit them from a legacy that rightfully should have gone to those who sacrificed their lives to build their wealth and legacy.

They treat the feelings of their children and their associates just like a one year old child treats a toy – to be thrown away and abandoned at the slightest of whims and fancies.

I also know of people who willingly and knowingly deceive the blind faith of their family to cheat on taxes  and do other illegal and criminal things.

They dont care if their family even end up in jail or are permanently defamed for absolutely no fault of theirs except blind faith and trust in their family.

But if it will save them even a few thousand dollars, they will willingly deceive the blind faith of their own innocent, sincere and honest children and use them for their selfish devious means even if it crosses the line between legal and criminal.

I also know of people who force their families to take loans on their behalf and risk everything that the family earned on these loans.

Not for the benefit of the entire family, but to further their own selfish interests and unreasonable dreams.

Many times people even take fraudulent loans risking their families assets.

They dont care that their families undergo great stress and worry will be on the streets if they default on the loans, but if they can make a few bucks on this they will go ahead and do it.

I know of families where parents devote their whole lives to their children.

Parents give up jobs where could have been world famous CEOs worth millions of dollars just to take care of their children.

But when they grow up, these same children leave their parents and find good jobs even in foreign countries and send their parents to old peoples homes.

Many times, these children do not even pay for the maintenance of their parents who are poor, old and helpless.

Sometimes after they get married, they show more affection to their spouse over their parents and many times even kick their parents out of the house because they cannot get along with their spouse.

They make their parents life a living hell to transfer their property into their children’s name.

And sometimes after the parents transfer the property, the children kick the parents out of the same house that their parents built and gave to them.

What is the use of such families, who are related only by blood?

What is the use of such families who only show Fish Love, not True Love?
What is the use of such families who love themselves and money more than they love their own family?

Sacrifice your life for a  family who gives you True Love, not Fish Love.

Sacrifice your life for a family who treat you like a jeweler and not a stone cutter.

Sacrifice your job, interests and life not for your family related by blood, but for your True Family who loves you as much as or even more than they love themselves. 

These sort of people have True Love, not Fish Love are worth being associated and called True Family.   

A family who shares the same the values as you do of Vasudaiva Kutumbakam.

A family who shares the same the values as you do shares the values of Dharma and  SEVA (Selfless sacrifice for All).

A family who will value you for the love, devotion and sacrifices you have made for them and the devotion you have shown to them, and not for the money you have in your bank account.

You may never live with such True Family all the time, you may never even live in the same city, forgot the same house.

But in times of trouble, when even your so called “family” has abandoned you. they will be first to help you in times of trouble and the last one to leave.

You may see them only once a year, but they will never abandon you in your direst times of need even after your “family” who you live with every day abandons you.

The Rishis of the Sanathan Dharma were the greatest of men.

Their ideal for this whole world was Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam.

Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam means “The whole world is one family.”

The phrase Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam is not just found in just one scripture of the Sanathan Dharma.

It is found not just in the Upanishads, but even in children’s books of  moral fables like the Panchatantra and Hitopadesa.

Remember it says the Whole world, this means not just humans, but all the living and natural things in the world.

In fact the whole verse from the Hitopadesa is:

He is mine and he is another,

Is a thought that narrow minded, selfish and ignorant people have,

For the truly noble and enlightened,

“The Whole World is One Family.”